Why is "living by your own principles" so difficult? – The areas self-determination theory doesn't cover

「Live by your own standards.The word "___" has been used in all sorts of contexts in recent years.

Not centered on others, but on yourself. Not on societal evaluation, but on your own values.

These are the right direction. And there are excellent psychological frameworks to support this direction.

However, even practicing along those lines, many people don't feel like they're "living according to their own axis."

Because there's an area where the frame doesn't touch.

Self-Determination Theory: Classifying the Quality of Motivation

In psychology, the most well-known approach to dealing with self-centeredness isSelf-determination theory(Self-Determination Theory)

This model, proposed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan in 1985, classifies human motivation in detail. It organizes motivation on a continuum, from "extrinsically compelled motivation" to "fully internalized motivation."

And I will present three basic needs that are necessary for human happiness and healthy growth.Autonomy(The feeling of deciding for oneself)Sense of abilityThe feeling of being able toRelationshipA feeling of connection.

This is a model where people are intrinsically motivated when these are met.

Powerful, widely applied in the fields of education, organizational development, and healthcare.

However, there is a crucial element missing for those who try to practice "living by their own axis."

A deeper problem than the quality of motivation

Self-determination theory is,Quality of motivation Handles.

However, the problem faced by people who cannot live by their own center is not a matter of the quality of their motivation.

The problem lies further upstream.

How many of the choices that you feel "you made yourself" truly come from your core?

How much of the values that we feel are "intrinsically motivated" are actually layers added from the outside?

Unless this is understood, the situation where your "autonomously chosen self-axis" is actually just a reproduction of an external axis will occur.

The more people think they are living by their own principles, the more they are bound by deep social pressure.This kind of thing actually happens frequently.

What appears to be self-centered but is actually other-centered

Please think about it.

The job I started thinking, "Let's do what I want to do," was actually a substitute for what my parents wanted.

My "authentic way of living" was actually a template of someone else's "authenticity" that I saw on social media.

"One's own values" were actually the internalization of the implicit rules of the community to which one belongs.

On the surface, these appear to be "self-determined personal values."

In the framework of self-determination theory, it could even be classified as "intrinsic motivation."

However, seen from a deeper level, these are still things that were plugged in from the outside My own is merely mistaken for.

The problem with self-centeredness is not a matter of the quality of one's motives.

Where does that motivation come from within me? It's a deeper layer problem to see.

The starting point for choice, before consciousness

There are limitations to the psychological lexicon here.

Psychology deals with what is accessible to consciousness.

However, the real work of living by your own values happens before that conscious awareness— The starting point of a choice before it arises as consciousness It is in sight.

And the vocabulary to see its origin lies elsewhere, separate from psychological models.

To see my core

The reason why living "on your own terms" is difficult is not because you have weak willpower or don't know about Self-Determination Theory.

That is,Distinguishing between your core self and internalized external values But this is not possible in principle from a psychological perspective.

A different perspective is needed to distinguish the two.

Which of my choices truly come from me, and which are imposed from the outside.

When you stand before that question, the work of living according to your own principles begins for the first time.

Until then, all "self-centeredness" leaves open the possibility of another's perspective.

For those who want to learn about Self-Determination Theory, check out θ Corridor III "Limiters and Control Rods" now.

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