Doubt towards "If you endure, it will get easier someday" – The structure in which the more you endure conflict, the more your mind wears down

Patience has long been considered a virtue. Even when faced with two conflicting demands, one grits their teeth and endures. Suppressing emotions and completing the task at hand. From those around them, they are seen as a "dependable person" or an "adult who can handle things."

But after enduring that restraint, one day, suddenly, the heart stops moving. Unexplained fatigue. Loss of motivation. Moments when tears won't stop. It's often the case that people who have earnestly endured reach their limits in these ways.

Why does enduring things, rather than protecting people, quietly wear them down? Let's look at the structure of that.

"Endure" does not handle contradictions.

There are stages in how we deal with conflict. In the earliest stage, confronting contradictions causes intense anxiety, and we try to gain stability by dismissing one side as "wrong." Black-and-white thinking, either/or. This is the stage of avoiding the contradiction itself.

Moving to the next stage, one can tolerate contradictions as "unpleasant but unavoidable." At first glance, this appears to be growth. It can also be said that one is confronting reality without fleeing.

Enduring is not the same as accepting.

However, there is a crucial misunderstanding here. Enduring does not mean accepting and integrating contradictions. The contradictions remain as "rifts" within. One is merely covering those rifts and getting through the days.

Unresolved contradictions don't just disappear. They accumulate internally, with nowhere to go.

The heat of friction burns my heart -- A structure of patience without rotation

Why does enduring lead to wear and tear? The key lies in the presence or absence of "rotation."

By embracing contradictions, circulating them, and oscillating between viewpoints, contradictions can be transformed into energy. As long as the contradictions are in motion, friction may arise, but it will act as a driving force.

The friction continues while remaining still.

However, "endurance" often fixes contradictions without resolving them. Two opposing forces continue to clash in the same place. There is no movement, but pressure continues to build.

This has the same structure as physical friction. When objects rub against each other, if the movement is cyclical, force is transmitted and converted into work. However, if the state of pushing against each other continues while movement is stopped, all that is generated is heat. The same thing happens in our minds. The static state of "enduring" contradictions is equivalent to continuously accumulating friction heat within, with no escape.

Serious people tend to stay in this stage longer.

People with a strong sense of responsibility and those who prioritize consideration for others find it harder to "cut off" contradictions. Precisely because they want to value both demands, they choose to endure without severing them.

This is not weakness at all. Rather, it is also an expression of sincerity in trying to embrace contradictions whole. That is precisely why it is troublesome. This sincerity prolongs endurance without rotation, leading to wear and tear.

Patience eventually reaches its quiet limit.

Wear often progresses without any noticeable warning signs. The individual continues to believe, "I'm still okay." However, the accumulated friction heat suddenly reaches a critical point one day. This manifests as burnout, physical illness, or a sudden emotional paralysis.

The path to stopping wear ── From enduring to moving

What's needed to break out of this structure isn't "stop enduring and cut one off." That would only be retreating to a previous stage.

What's needed is not to hold onto the contradiction while fixing it, but to start moving the contradiction itself. Consciously try to move back and forth between two conflicting demands. Instead of trying to settle on one or the other, look at both alternately.

The contradictions that have begun to move will become power, not wear and tear.

When contradictions begin to stir, the nature of the heat generated there changes. Fixed frictional heat wears down the heart, but heat born from circulation becomes a driving force that propels things forward.

If you feel like your days are draining away despite your efforts to endure, it's not because you're not enduring enough. It's because you're holding onto contradictions without resolving them.

You don't have to stop enduring. Just try to shift that contradiction, just a little. Therein lies the entrance to a way of living that doesn't wear you down.

↓ If you want to know more, check out the Theta Corridor I "Contradiction Tolerance" now ↓

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