{"id":2116,"date":"2026-06-04T13:35:00","date_gmt":"2026-06-04T04:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/iii-iii.com\/i.media\/?p=2116"},"modified":"2026-06-14T22:49:37","modified_gmt":"2026-06-14T13:49:37","slug":"living-by-your-own-axis-is-difficult-for-several-reasons-societal-pressure-and-expectations-we-are-constantly-bombarded-with-messages-about-how-we-should-live-what-we-should-want-and","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iii-iii.com\/i.media\/en\/why-living-by-your-own-axis-is-hard\/","title":{"rendered":"Why is \"living by your own principles\" so difficult? \u2013 The areas self-determination theory doesn't cover"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u300cLive by your own standards.<\/strong>The word \"___\" has been used in all sorts of contexts in recent years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not centered on others, but on yourself. Not on societal evaluation, but on your own values.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These are the right direction. And there are excellent psychological frameworks to support this direction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, even practicing along those lines, many people don't feel like they're \"living according to their own axis.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because there's an area where the frame doesn't touch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self-Determination Theory: Classifying the Quality of Motivation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In psychology, the most well-known approach to dealing with self-centeredness isSelf-determination theory<\/strong>(Self-Determination Theory)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This model, proposed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan in 1985, classifies human motivation in detail. It organizes motivation on a continuum, from \"extrinsically compelled motivation\" to \"fully internalized motivation.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I will present three basic needs that are necessary for human happiness and healthy growth.Autonomy<\/strong>(The feeling of deciding for oneself)Sense of ability<\/strong>The feeling of being able toRelationship<\/strong>A feeling of connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is a model where people are intrinsically motivated when these are met.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Powerful, widely applied in the fields of education, organizational development, and healthcare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is a crucial element missing for those who try to practice \"living by their own axis.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A deeper problem than the quality of motivation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Self-determination theory is,Quality of motivation<\/strong> Handles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, the problem faced by people who cannot live by their own center is not a matter of the quality of their motivation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The problem lies further upstream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How many of the choices that you feel \"you made yourself\" truly come from your core?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How much of the values that we feel are \"intrinsically motivated\" are actually layers added from the outside?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unless this is understood, the situation where your \"autonomously chosen self-axis\" is actually just a reproduction of an external axis will occur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more people think they are living by their own principles, the more they are bound by deep social pressure.<\/strong>This kind of thing actually happens frequently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What appears to be self-centered but is actually other-centered<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Please think about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The job I started thinking, \"Let's do what I want to do,\" was actually a substitute for what my parents wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My \"authentic way of living\" was actually a template of someone else's \"authenticity\" that I saw on social media.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"One's own values\" were actually the internalization of the implicit rules of the community to which one belongs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the surface, these appear to be \"self-determined personal values.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the framework of self-determination theory, it could even be classified as \"intrinsic motivation.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, seen from a deeper level, these are still things that were plugged in from the outside My own<\/strong> is merely mistaken for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The problem with self-centeredness is not a matter of the quality of one's motives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where does that motivation come from within me?<\/strong> It's a deeper layer problem to see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The starting point for choice, before consciousness<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There are limitations to the psychological lexicon here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychology deals with what is accessible to consciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, the real work of living by your own values happens before that conscious awareness\u2014 The starting point of a choice before it arises as consciousness<\/strong> It is in sight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the vocabulary to see its origin lies elsewhere, separate from psychological models.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To see my core<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The reason why living \"on your own terms\" is difficult is not because you have weak willpower or don't know about Self-Determination Theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is,Distinguishing between your core self and internalized external values<\/strong> But this is not possible in principle from a psychological perspective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A different perspective is needed to distinguish the two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which of my choices truly come from me, and which are imposed from the outside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you stand before that question, the work of living according to your own principles begins for the first time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Until then, all \"self-centeredness\" leaves open the possibility of another's perspective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For those who want to learn about Self-Determination Theory, check out \u03b8 Corridor III \"Limiters and Control Rods\" now.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Theta<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u2193Related articles are here\u2193<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The reason why \"living with excitement\" and \"living by doing what you love\" don't work at all: The blunt conclusion that success principles depend on compatibility<\/a><\/blockquote>